A good communicator is also a good listener!
Wanna learn how to talk to girls if you are shy? Follow these 5 tips to improve your communication skills and gain mutant-ninja confidence in almost any social situations.
If there is one fact that I’ve learned as a confidence coach, it is this: not everyone is outgoing, confident, and social guy, but you still have chances with the women even if you’re shy and timid. You only need to change few aspect of how you’ve been having conversation with girls in the past, and you can to become an alpha male, almost overnight.
So if you were clueless on how to talk to girls if you are shy, then here are few practical advices on how to get your groove back, and get better results with people — including women:
Tip #1 How To Talk To Girls If Your Are Shy: “Do NOT use pickup lines.”
Relying on pickup lines to “break the ice” to start conversation with girls is fine, but you can also risk coming off across as a faker. But by skipping them altogether can in fact work for you, because you give her a chance to see how genuine you are as a person and how you are not afraid of saying what on your mind.
Now I am not against using pickup lines on women; it can actually help you get into the momentum of talking to girls — especially if you’re just starting out in the game, but here’s my honest suggestion as a daytime pickup coach: avoid using pickup lines as much as you can. Aim for being “honest” and say exactly what’s on your mind instead.
For example, if you like her smile, you should be able to tell her, “I really like your smile. It just brighten my day,” rather than using any sleazy pick up lines like “Hey, I can’t believe angels flying so low on the earth,” that you find on the internet.
Tip #2 How To Talk To Girls If Your Are Shy: “Own Your Shyness”
Owning your shyness — accepting it as part of who you are as a person — and not hiding it could actually help you come across as someone who is comfortable being on his own skin.
So even if you’re painfully shy, instead of hiding this fact and instead trying to appear “cool”, admit to the girl you’re on a date or out with that you’re a little bit shy, which can help you become even more attractive in women’s eyes. And women will reward your honest behaviour by hanging out with you more.
For example, you can easily admit you are a little bit hesitant and shy by saying something like, “Hey, I just wanted to be honest with you. I am Learning how to be more social, outgoing, and confident. So could you please forgive if I make a blunder, or help me correct my behaviour if I go over the line?”
And if your shyness is killing your chances of meeting and interacting with girls, ask your friends to make introductions with the girls for you, or if you often become nervous and tensed — especially in the presence of attractive women — try getting to a point where you can laugh about it, and they’ll too.
And soon, you’ll find a new world of women who are actually attracted by your shy and timid nature, and NOT get turned off by it.
Tip #3 How To Talk To Girls If Your Are Shy: “Remember this: People Are More Worried About Themselves Than They’re About YOU.”
It’s better to assume that women are less concerned about you and more concerned about themselves when you’re out with them on a date or a coffee. Now I am not saying that women do not care about what you have to say to them, but make sure that you’re having a small talk that is fun, playful, and exciting for the both of you, instead of making her feel bored by your monologue.
So if you’ve ever exited from an interaction and wished you could turn back in time and fix something about it, understand that you’re not the first person on the planet to have that thought.
Tip #4 How To Talk To Girls If Your Are Shy: “Stop Judging Yourself In Group Conversations”
Group conversations may feel like a total nightmare for a lot of shy and introverted guys, because it’s really hard for them to be heard. But here’s the fact that no one had told you before: group conversations are like nightmare for almost everyone — including extroverted outgoing hunk.
With added members come added distractions, and in these tough times, even the most outgoing person might need to repeat their sentence over a dozen times before anyone will start paying any attention to them.
So accept this reality of group conversation being “hot messes” by nature.
Tip #5 How To Talk To Girls If Your Are Shy: “Be A Good Listener”
A good communicator is also a good listener!
There are two ways you can demonstrate the other person you were listening to them: a) how you respond to others and b) through your body language. Both are equally important.
To respond the other person better, try to be “in the moment” — be present — and try to get-out-of-your-own-head, and listen to what the other person is really saying before responding back.
And in case you didn’t hear them properly, or you’re not sure what to say back, always repeat back some portion of what they just told you and ask for a follow up of information.
You can also demonstrate that you’re listening to the other person through your body language. Make strong eye contact, without staring at them; ignore small distractions when interacting with the other person, and leaving your phone in your pocket. Don’t look down, and do not fidget.
P.S. BTW, if you want to overcome your shyness and build enough confidence to be able to effortlessly meet, connect, and date more beautiful women on the streets, cafes, or malls, then here’s a kick-ass resource for you.