In most of my articles, I hardly go into depth about how to kiss a girl. Sexual escalation — like kissing a girl — is the result of sexual tension. Kissing is a “release” behaviour — something that releases “tension” created when interacting with a woman in a powerful masculine way.
I know that most guys out here want a thorough explanation of how to kiss a girl. (I noticed my inbox was flooded with the subject line “How to Kiss A Girl?”). That’s why I wrote this article on how to kiss a girl.
How to Kiss A Girl: It’s all about “pre-game.”
Most guys want to know how to kiss a girl and think that I’m going to hand them an answer that they can immediately apply in their interactions before pulling the trigger — kissing the girl — and become really successful at it.
But the fact is… kissing is all about 95% preparation and 5% taking action.
In simple words, the determining factor of whether or not a girl finds your kiss “hot” is established in the moments leading up to the kiss. The shortest timeline for this preparation and execution phase would be around 2 to 5 minutes.
However, if you’re on a date with a girl, the moments leading up to a kiss can take as long as 45 minutes to a couple of hours.
Quick word to all those guys who enjoys making out with girls: While you may feel cool to get instant kisses from girls you just randomly met on the streets, cafes, or malls (and I’m certainly not saying I am not part of this), kissing a girl too soon or rushing the build-up to a kiss is certainly not a very good idea for building a strong connection with a woman.
While instant kisses are awesome, I personally enjoy the build-up to a kiss better.
And many women agree on this too. No woman wants to feel like she’s a tongue receptacle for some aggressive horn-ball; rather, she wants a guy who understands how to create, maintain, and amplify sexual tension.
This post will focus on the essential aspects of the “pre-game.” Let’s begin with the most crucial aspect of the kiss…
Step #1 How to Kiss A Girl: Isolate Her
I know it’s an obvious fact that you need to “isolate” a girl to kiss her, but it’s still important to mention here. A memorable kiss is a moment shared between the two of you when there’s no one else around. Unless you’re “kissing your bride” at your wedding, you should really be conscious of the environment you and a girl are in.
Let me illustrate this point with an example: Last week, I was at a local bar chatting with this 26-year-old hot blonde who I felt a great connection with. We met because my friend was talking with her friend, and we naturally gravitated towards each other. Now, even though I wanted to kiss her (and the feeling was mutual – later she told me), I controlled myself for a very important reason: no discretion.
I didn’t want any girl to think that I’m some horny-ball who’ll jump at any opportunity to escalate sexually (and I’m sure most of you agree on this). While sexual escalation is very important, being able to display that you’re a sexually satisfied guy who is in control of his emotions is MORE important than actually having the guts to go for a kiss.
So, if you’re planning to kiss a girl, the first step is to wait until you’re in a location that is somewhat isolated and discrete. Now I am not saying that you guys need to be a one-on-one, inside closed doors before going for the kiss. But, make sure to respect her comfort levels and reputation. Most girls don’t like engaging in a public display of affection (PDA), so don’t blow your first great kiss before it even happens.
Make sure it’s a personal moment between the two of you and you have some privacy, before even going in for a kiss. This could be as simple as moving her 20 feet away from her friends, or as detailed as planning an instant date around taking her to a special “spot” where you know you’ll have some one-on-one time.
Step #2 How to Kiss A Girl: Build Tension
A great kiss doesn’t just happen. Instead, it’s a natural result of the moments that lead up to the kiss. Once you and a girl are in some “isolated” place, it’s crucial that you don’t just jump on her and expect a kiss. You still need to build sexual tension.
Now if you are not aware of what sexual tension is, then I highly suggest that you browse my blog (or read my book, “”). Creating sexual tension is essential for a great kiss.
The fastest and easiest way to build sexual tension is by being very bold and direct with a compliment. For example, you could say, “Wow, I wish you hadn’t worn this dress out tonite because it looks amazing on you, and now I can hardly think straight” is a great example. Why?
Here’s why: First of all, the compliment is funny but also very bold. You’re giving her a compliment, but you’re also “blaming” her on looking too good, which is more powerful than simply saying, “You look beautiful tonight.”
Using a very bold compliment like that will amplify the moment, and sets the stage for the kiss.
Step #3 How to Kiss A Girl: Be Shameless
Once you feel that “spark” called sexual tension, it’s time for you to pull the trigger and go in for the kiss. While this advice may sound so simple, it’s very difficult for most guys to follow. This is because most guys want to look for “signal” or “signs” that a girl wants to be kissed. Or worse, some guys even wait for a girl to kiss them (never happens!).
If you want to be a good kisser, you need to take charge of the situation. Don’t ask her if she wants to be kissed. Don’t drive yourself mad looking for the “signs” or “signals.” Don’t hesitate — a big mistake. Instead, just lean in and kiss her.
In short, execute shamelessly.
Now, of course, a girl will reject your first attempt at kiss — which is totally fine. Most likely, it has nothing to do with you. So do not feel rejected! Just respect her boundary, and go back into being normal. Here’s a rule to remember: If you go for a kiss, but the girl doesn’t kiss you back, BUT she is still talking to you… she wants to kiss you but only needs more time.
In fact, if you really want a “signal” to know 100% whether or not a woman is interested in kissing you, simply go for the kiss and see what happens. If she’s still standing there, you passed! She wants to be kissed (even if she didn’t let you kiss her right there and then.)
So there you have it: how to kiss a woman in 3 simple steps. Don’t over analyze. Don’t over complicate it. Have confidence in yourself and kiss her.