Do you want to learn how to approach a girl for the first time, in public, at a bar, or anywhere else under the sun? Then this article will help you.
A lot of guys are stuck in their heards when it comes to approaching women and interacting with them.
They feel that they need to know everything — from approaching a girl to taking her back to their apartment — but in real life, things doesn’t work like that.
Just like no two situations are the same, no two women are the same too.
Listen. Approaching a girl is almost like landing a plane.
Somtimes the landing will be smooth, othertimes it will be bumpy. But either way, as long as you stick it out, your landing will be safe.
Trying to plan everything – approaching a girl, engaging her, connecting with her, and close the deal — before actually approaching a girl is simply impossible — especially when you’re just starting to learn how to approach a woman.
That is why I always suggest my students to allow themselves to “fail” with their approaches, learn from their failures (feedbacks), read the situations better, and start from there.
So when approaching a girl you like, understand that you’re not going to know what to say to hook her interest every time.
But trust me when I say this: when you finally make your move — approach a girl — you’ll automatically know what to say to her. It will simply flow out of your brain, and you’d be reallly surprized.
I want to make an honest confession: I rarely know what I am going to say to a girl when I do approach her. The words don’t come to me until I “grab” her attention.
For example, last night I was at a bar, sipping drinks, and I was explaining this topic to one of my daytime pickup coaching students. I pointed my finger at a brunette sitting at the far end of the bar all by herself and told him, “Go approach her.”
He said “Okay” immediately to me, but as soon as he stood up, he simply froze in that same spot. He could not approach her. It was like she transformed him into an unmoving, lifeless statue with her spell.
He could not approach her because the moment he stood up, he started to “think,” which is the worst thing you can do when approaching a girl you like.
So when I realized what was going on, I said to myself, “Damn it!” and I stood up from my chair, walked over up to the girl, without hesitation.
Here’s the catch: Just 10 feet away from where she was sitting, I had no clue what I was going to say to her, and I that’s why perhaps I didn’t even try to think of anything.
When I finally approach her, I delivered the first thing that popped into my head:
“Hey, I was sitting across the bar and I noticed you. I really like your style and think you’re cute, so I had to come to you and say Hi. Tell me more about you…”
At this point, I locked my eyes with her.
Now I have to admit that this pickup line was direct and plain, not sleazy and corny like the ones you find on the internet.
Right after I delivered this pickup line, I was cursing to myself, “Really, Abishek? That’s the best line you can deliver to this cutie? She’s probably going to ignore the crap out of me now.”
No matter what, I didn’t give up and held my ground and smiled at her.
Do you want to know how her reaction was like?
She smiled and looked up at me, and said, “Well, thank you. That’s so nice of you. I think I like your style too. Do you come here often?”
Not only she responded to me positively, but she also tried to engage me back with a question.
And then the conversation literally took off from there.
Here’s the interesting thing: After talking to her for 5 minutes, I introduced her to my student who froze to join the conversation, after they ended up talking all night long.
Do you think he knew what to say to her before walking up, after I had already been talking to her?
His approach was not “planned,” nor he knew what he was going to say to her to carry the conversation. He only took action, and everything flowed naturally.
Having said that, I’ve seen so many clients wreck their brains out obsessing over the best way to approach a woman.
They obsess about whether they should approach her from 45 degree angle, make an eye contact, and then deliver their opener, or if they should make a bee-line over to her and start a conversation, making the approach seem almost like they fell out of the sky from the tree and ran into her path.
But the ‘secret’ is you should never worry about how to approach a girl.
The only reason you should head out of your house and to bars, streets, shopping malls, or any other social environments is to enjoy your day — and night — and have fun. When your number one priority is to be “in the moment” and have fun, sharing your good “vibes” with other people — including beautiful women — will come naturally to you.
The answer isn’t so black and white.
Things won’t always go right, nor it’ll always go wrong. One way to approach a woman might work for one person, and another method might work for another person.
To speak of myself, since I enjoy everything I do while also having a great time when I head out of my home… I rarely ever see a girl and think “pickup target” from across the street or bar, and come up with a strategic plan to approach her.
Often times, beautiful women happen to be standing right next to me, and my positive energy draws them in. For unknown reasons, we make eye contact, and then it’s simply natural for me to walk up to her and start talking.
And because I am having such a good time with everyone, I won’t discriminate them against anything. I won’t care about their looks, weight, height, age, etc.
And when I do see a girl that I like and want to talk to, I’ll just barge in and talk to her, without thinking, like I own the place.
I never plan out what I’m going to say, or the route I’m going to take while walking over to her. I just do it.
Depending on how she responds to me, I will carry the conversation from there.
Sometimes her eyes will light up, and I will follow up with light banter. Other times, she is hesitant, shy, and timid, and won’t even give me the time of the day. Either way, as soon as I start the conversation with her, I have material to work with.
Acting on your own “impulses,” rather than thinking about your approach strategically, immediately makes everything you say and do more genuine — which is quite attractive to women.
So the best way to approach a woman is, “whatever works best for you…”
At the end of the day, she’s not going to be angry at you because you tried to have a conversation with her. The only thing she cares about you is your “vibe,” and the fact that you had the audacity (confidence) to approach her in the first place.
So go out today and approach a girl.
P.S. If you want to learn how to overcome your shyness, hesitation, and fears of approaching any women on the streets, cafes, malls, or anywhere else under the sun…
… learn how to captivate her attention, connect with her emotionally, and get her phone number…
… and ask her out on a date, within a week or so…
… then here’s a kick-ass resource for you.