Your body language may shape who you are!
So you want to learn how to overcome shyness and social anxiety, huh? If you find this article appealing, chances are that you consider youself to be “introverted.”
But what do “introverted” mean? Being “introverted” does NOT mean that you stay alone inside your room all day and read books. According to the dictionary, being “introverted” only means that you’re the kind of preson who is occupied with his/her own thoughts and feelings rather than with external things.”
In short, you’re “in your head” a lot. You tend to analyze situation more than usual — especially socially. Your idea of “recharging your batteries” means being away from others.
On the other hand, “extroverts” are different. They gain energy from being around with others, and the idea of being alone just sound tiring and boring. Does that make sense to you?
Well, let me reveal you the truth that I am certain nobody has ever really told you before: Introversion and extroversion are the results of how you view yourself — your self-image. They are just labels created to classify you as being one thing, and not another.
Here’s the good news: almost everyone has both introverted and extroverted qualities in themselves. Every person have the capability to be shy in one particular situation, and social and outgoing in another.
You can think of these as different muscles. The more you go out and socialize with people, the more social you become. On the other hand, the less you socialize, the less social you become. It’s that simple.
For you to change — be more social and outgoing from being shy and introverted — you need to go out and practice. With this information at hand, I want you to understand that the problem isn’t that you’re “introverted” or “shy.” The problem is that you have social anxiety and you don’t know how to get handle over it.
So, in this post, I’m going to reveal to you 3 useful exercises that you can start using right away into your interactions with people — including women.
Here’s the best thing about these exercises: you do NOT have to change your personality (who you are), just being able to control your emotions under pressure. That’s all. And these three practical social anxiety exercises will help you be into an incredible positive emotional state, whenever you want, and wherever you are.
Emotions are transmittable, so as soon as you learn how to make these habits (shared below) a part of your life, you’ll start to notice a lot of people — including women — drive towards you. And, before you’ll even know, your social anxiety will start to disappear right before you eyes.
So let’s jump into overcoming shyness with women:
Step #1 to overcome your shyness with women: “Know your three things.”
This is the number one secret of improving your self-confidence, and becoming an extremely confident — aka attractive — man around others. It’s called being aware of the three things that excite you. You energy goes where your focus goes.
So the next time you’re in a situation where you’re thinking about how crappy you feel, or how introverted you are, just ask this question to yourself: “What are 3 things I can think of to reframe this situation to being positive?”
For example, if you’re walking back home from a final exam that you think you didn’t perform well. The first thing to do is to realize that you’re focusing on something ‘negative,’ and it is making you feel bad.
The second thing to do is instantly write off 3 things that you are excited about, or thankful for in that moment. For example, you could choose to think how ‘beautiful’ the day is outside, or that you don’t have to worry about that exam ever again, or even that you now have some free time to hang out with your friends.
You see, as you change your focus, you can change your life.
You can also apply this technique in your interactions with women. For instance, if a girl said something “rude” to you and you took it personally (she called you “nice” or “naive”) don’t take it as an insult, rather, choose to reframe this situation as an evidence that she is trying to flirt with you.
You can do this by listing off at least 3 reasons in your own head that she is clearly into you.
Here are three examples of things you can say to yourself:
- “If that’s her way of saying she wants to be ‘bad’ with me, I might consider it.”
- “Is that really her best pick-up line?”
- “She’s never going to get my approval or win me with an attitude like that”
Believe me when I say this, taking action on this one piece of advice won’t be that easy at first — particularly if you’re feeling down and negative. But if you make the effort to build up the willpower to change what you’re focusing on any given moment, then this one single tip alone can make all the difference for you.
Step #2 to overcome your shyness with women: “Get into motion”
Anytime you start feel shy in a social settings, pay attention to your body language, because that may be the reason of your shyness.
- locking your knees and feet and not moving around much?
- positioning your elbows close to your body?
- holding your drink really close to your chest?
Once you become aware of your body language, the solution is easy: change those poor body language to make you feel relaxed, calm, and in the moment. A strong body language makes you feel relaxed and confident, because your mind and body are closely tied together.
Just imagine a guy who seems all down and depressed. How do they look like? Their shoulders are slumped, they’re looking down, and they’re restless and wary, lost in their own thoughts.
Now picture a guy who is confident, feeling amazing, and moving around as if he’s the host of the party. How do they look like? They’re standing tall. They’re shoulders are leaning back. They have a sly smile 😉 on their face.
So now you know what a good body language looks like, next time you catch yourself becoming shy, hesitant, and unsure of yourself, take a pause to look at your body language, and correct. It’s that simple.
Here’s the rule of thumb: stand tall and having a open body language is good; slouching off and having a closed off body language is bad.
So for example, if I am holding my drink too close to my chest, and my elbows are touching my side, what I’ll do is put my drink on the table by my side, and bloat out my chest a little bit. Or if I’m sitting down on a chair while staring down on the floor, I’ll quickly stand up and look straight aheard across the room, over other people, with a sly smile on my face.
My goal is simple — break my current body language and correct it to enhance my mood.
Step #3 to overcome your shyness with women: “Take cold showers.”
Okay, perhaps you don’t have any confidence issues. If that’s the case, the only thing that’s getting your way to be more outgoing and social in any social settings could be your anxiety and fear towards this situation.
And if you struggel approaching women, or tend to think twice to make your move in social situations, then you’ll absolutely love what I’m going to tell you next.
Start taking cold showers daily. Yeah, you heard that right. Nothing will benefit you more to staying calm, cool, and collected than under the pressure of a cold shower.
Just think about it for a second. You turn on the shower, and you can feel the icy cold drops of water hitting against your warm skin, striking it like little bullets, before you even enter in. And now imagine that feeling of nervousness and hesitation, preventing you from jumping under that cold running water.
This feeling is exactly the same feeling that most shy guys feel before approaching a woman. The fear. The anxiety. The hesitation. But by training yourself to jump into that cold shower and actually enjoy in that tension of the cold water striking your skin, you’re actually training yourself to crush your social/approach anxiety.
And the best part of doing this exercise is, everytime you do this, it becomes easier and easier. Just like practicing playing basketball daily you become a smooth basketball player, by taking cold shower daily, you become stronger and comfortable around overwhelming social situations and around women.
On top of that, make sure to train yourself to become relaxed when that water is striking down on your skin. If you do this often, you’ll become a master at controlling your emotional state in no time.
Do yourself a favor: Start applying all of these three simple steps into your daily interactions in your life, and I’ll promise, sooner than later, other shy guys will start to look at you as a living example of a confident, charismatic, and a social butterfly.
P.S. You’re the gift. You’re the prize to be won. You’re the prince charming. You’re the great catch.
If you agree on that, please subscribe to my free newsletter on the bottom of this post to get free insights, advice, and techniques to overcome yours shyness and crush your social anxiety, and become confident, dashing, and charming social butterfly in no time.
BTW, here’s another article related to this topic: How to become chill guy and get women!